i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
