Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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