It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
