everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
