So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
