I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
