Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
