the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
