All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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