we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Jerry, you need to find god
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
