I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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