I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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