i don't like sucking hair
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
