just tell him i said nine months
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Your penis caused this!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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