Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
