you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
