he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
