Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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