She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
