I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
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Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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