You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
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I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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