I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
