She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize