I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
