I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
