I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
