its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
