I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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