ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i think my cat just said my name.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
