Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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