After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...