i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut