I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth