I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now