We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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