He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
