Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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