I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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