ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
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Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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