dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
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OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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