I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
