I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
