Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
