No, you can still breathe under the balls.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
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He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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