clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
