Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hippo gnu deer
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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