The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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