I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
