i will never coherently bang her
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
