I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
