is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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