The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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