I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
