so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
