At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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