Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
