I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
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The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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