I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
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He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
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Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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