Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There r osticjed everywhere
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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